HATE giving or seeking feedback? these 4 questions are the answer.
Self-efficacy is the belief we hold about our own abilities. Its powerful and people who have it are magnetic, confidence and belief that they can do even the most ambitious of tasks radiating out of them. I have learned from supporting many clients now that lack of belief in our abilities can erode our overall confidence and wellbeing and contributes to feeling lost and unhappy at work. And then sometimes we are in the middle too - we find a bit of self-belief here and there, but it slips in and out of our grasp so easily.
What if there was a way to consistently build it for ourselves and turbo charge our path to more self-efficacy and confidence at work?
Psychologist and researcher Albert Bandura’s (2000) research over several decades suggested that one way we can build self-efficacy is through feedback or ‘social persuasion’. Meaningful feedback builds confidence, promotes wellbeing and prevents people feeling unsure about their effectiveness and value. It is also massively helpful for keeping lines of communication open - so everyone knows what is going on, and there are no surprises at the annual development discussions!
Marcus Buckingham in his book Love + Work (2022) suggests having a fifteen-minute weekly check-in and says we should be guided by these 4 simple questions:
1) what did you love over the last week?
2) what did you loathe over the last week?
3) what are your priorities moving forward?
4) what support do you need?
Buckingham is focused on managers learning about their team members, what it is they most like doing and identifying potential growth areas for them in addition to checking in on their week. If staff are doing more of what they love, they are more likely to enjoy work right? It’s not rocket science!
So, if you are a leader practice having more regular check-ins and use these questions above to guide you and get to know your staff better.
If you are someone who knows they are not getting the feedback they need - then please try to find ways to get it. Can you book time with your manager, use these questions above to update them and share your needs? They might be grateful for the leadership. Go on, be brave. If that doesn’t work (and sometimes I get it, it just doesn’t) it may be that you need to seek feedback elsewhere, through a client, colleague, friend or partner.
Try too to work out the elements of your job that you most lack confidence in and set yourself some mini goals in that area you can work towards. You are prioritising your growth by setting goals, you’re taking control of your own development which will also contribute to better confidence. Then …. you guessed it … seek some feedback about what went well, what you could do differently and share the support you need.
Last little message - you are talented and valuable, don’t forget it, and your own internal feedback is the most important of all! Practice being kind to yourself - always.